To me, a new year symbolises starting fresh and beginning a new chapter in your life. That being said, you should know that I am also not one to set resolutions for myself that put more pressure on myself to exercise, eat healthy, do less here, do more there and blah blah blah. Just the thought of setting restrictions for myself makes me very uneasy and it often makes me want to do more of the behaviour I am trying to quit.
Generally, I live life in moderation. I like to eat healthy food because it makes me feel good, but I also like to have a cupcake or some chocolate when I am in the mood. I think good relationships with food are a necessity and I don’t ever start a new year by putting restrictions on myself. I feel like that would be setting myself up for failure, not success.
I work out 2-3 times a week because that’s what I am able to do. In a perfect world, I would commit to a daily exercise routine but honestly, that’s just not realistic for my schedule. We are called busy moms for a reason. Our time seems to always be divided between home, family and work demands. So before setting up some unattainable resolutions, know what your own limits are and keep within them.
To be brutally honest, the majority of us aren’t going to be joining the leagues of Giselle any time soon AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY! Don’t be ashamed or saddened about it. Don’t use that as your gold standard, because it will only cause you heartbreak when you can’t meet those ridiculous ideals. Look inside and accept yourself for the beautiful, strong and powerful person you are. Allow yourself to be happy by accepting all that you are… flaws, blemishes and love handles included.
So, this is not a post about resolutions or stress inducing goals. It’s about letting go of the things that cause you discomfort and make you feel like you have done something wrong.
Here are the top 5 things we all need to let go of in 2018 to be a happier, healthier you:
1. Perfectionism – eeeekkk what can I say? I have always been plagued with the notion that everything has to be perfect. I typically take 3 days longer than anyone else to do even the smallest of tasks because I am so detail oriented that it makes my head hurt. I agonise over things that don’t make sense and am borderline terrified of things not going to plan. I feel that having a toddler has taught me that there is no such thing as a plan. In fact, there is beauty in the chaos and often times things are more enjoyable when they aren’t perfect. Personally, I am going to stop trying to be so obsessed with details and enjoy the bigger picture. Try it with me and feel the joy in leaving fussiness behind.
2. Mom guilt – I am very ambitious and career driven. The fact that I am able to do what I love on a daily basis makes it even more appealing to want to push forward. Yet, every time I leave to go to work an icy feeling of guilt moves through my body. I feel ashamed that I enjoy my work so much and feel like I am betraying my daughter. The truth is that she LOVES going to day care and spending time with her buddies. She gets bored of being with me 24/7, she’s a budding socialite with things to do and people to see. I spent the first year of eve’s life with her, juggling work and a new born before deciding to go back to work full time. She’s thriving and happy and I just have to stop beating myself up about loving my work. Mom guilt creeps up on everyone, dads included. So, take a deep breath and know that your child is safe, loved and growing through their independence. Leave the mom guilt behind and know that both your and their lives will be better with some time, space, perspective and independence.
3. Buying too many expensive coffees – I want to be more responsible with my money this year. I want to stop being wasteful and bring my own coffee with me on the road. I can’t guarantee this will happen daily, but if I save $5 a day x 365 it’s a whopping $1,825 a year. When I did the math I almost spat up my fancy latte :/ Needless to say I would love to take that money and put it towards a vacation! Save money on the little things and keep money in your own pocket by using a to go cup from home, or perhaps even packing your own lunch instead of buying it on the run. Every dollar saved will stay put in your wallet.
4. Putting myself down – This HAS to stop. With all the images of women with perfect hair, nails, bodies and homes it is so easy to put ourselves down or compare ourselves to fake ideals. I refuse to subscribe to the ‘why aren’t my thighs as slim as hers’ club anymore. It creates a cycle of self-hate that no one should have to experience. Did you know that certain Victoria Secret models do not eat solid foods for 2 weeks preceding their shoots to get their bodies like that? That ‘s two weeks without a proper meal!!! Not even the models themselves look like that on a regular. The media has conditioned us but it is all a bunch or crap. Don’t fall for fake ideals. Instead, love the body you were given. I am what I am. And you know what? I am healthy and happy. I have a body that isn’t picture perfect but it’s perfect for me. I am never going to have Pantene commercial worthy hair but I have nice hair and hating on it is very damaging to your own well being. Self love is the way to go.
5. Phone time – I spend WAYYYYYY too much time on my phone. It’s definitely becoming a problem and I need to curb the time I spend checking, refreshing and looking at my phone. The only person in the universe who needs to look at their phone so much is Mark Zuckerberg, not me. Real life is out there ladies. Get out there are grab it with both hands. Look up and love the world around you.
I hope you can take some of these points and adopt them to your own busy life.
Know something else we need to let go of? I would love to hear!
Shira xo
